The Not So Golden Show
Think they must have found every single black number including some from Macy’s bargain basement, not to take away from the message for the night, the whole thing got a tad boring, best part was when Guilana Rancic-pancic had to stand there and swallow the rant at ‘E’ for Cat Sadler’s departure over pay, for once she was lost for words – truly a first!
First up to be interviewed was Kelly Clarkson, who was more interested in being in close proximity to Meryl Streep sadly that wasn’t reciprocated, she was sporting a black number with a gold armour-plated sleeve looking like a renegade from Game of Thrones and a blimp into the bargain – sadly not a ‘pretty’ I was looking for at midnight. Guilana was interviewing in a sequinned ice-lolly of a dress and wearing more hair in her pony-tail than a rocking horse, weird look as we all know she needs all the help she can get with a forehead like a surf-board!
Despite the earnest words, Debra Messing was wearing a sack of sequins and had the worst hair colour, looked as if the home l’oreal had been left on too long. Meryl Streep’s black velvet was stark and since she wasn’t attending a funeral, the odd diamond wouldn’t have gone astray and she could have lost the old lady glasses too. Claire Foy looked stunning in a trouser suit, best of the night I thought. Catherine Zeta-Jones very pretty and great make-up, those old lace curtains of hers came in handy for the black theme. Jessica Biel spent her 15 secs of fame with Ryan Seacrest pushing her ‘work’ who cares – her pleated chiffon number not memorable and her hair obviously had been washed and pulled back and did nothing for her, needs a new stylist. Deb Lee-Furness looked like an emu on the run with feathers in full flight, Jessica Chastain one of the best just a tad too much silver fabric at the back, think they might have run out of the front fabric as there was such a run on black for the night.
Angelina Jolie with one of the rainbow kids in tow –very tacky, someone should tell her draping her skinny frame in black and adding feathers is not a good look, she looks like she could murder a McDonalds!
Alicia Vikander had back detail, front looked like her mum had embroidered the front , the dress was too Armish for me., Christina Hendricks always looks the same, this time sporting a huge black velvet balloon dress with boobs to match. Michelle Pffeifer thought she was going to a local bistro, obviously no one told her it was an awards bash and she was up for one – tres lacklustre, and time she was over the ‘Goldie Hawn’ blonde blown look.
Allison Brie (who knew who she was?) took the prize for the most fabulous diamond necklace, would kill for it and want it for my birthday – just saying.
Laura Dern – mutton dressed as lamb – too cute, read that for ‘young’ sadly the face lets her down. Kate Hudson thankfully now with hair but no front to her dress, obviously didn’t want to be ignored but ended up being one of THE WORST of the night, closely followed by Mariah Carey looking like a Sophia Vergara clone, sadly not making the cut and looking like a 50’s reject. Millie Bobby Brown – just a huge lampshade with ugly written all over it.
Penny Cruz just gorgeous in lace and satin, one of the best – Reece Witherspoon very neat, just not memorable and SJP in a bubble of black including lace, see through and glitz, with green eyes and black roots to match the ensemble. Margo Robbie, although a fellow Aussie and usually gorgeous was way overboard and her dress would be better suited to the Oscars. Nicole Kidman a bit too frothy but good for her she got another gong!
Chris Hemsworth and Hugh Jackman led the way looking really handsome in their own way, goes to show we breed ‘em right in OZ!